So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I'm at about main and main street
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
