Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
now i know why i became what i already was.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Randomize
