he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Randomize
