last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
