Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
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