Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
