I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
