If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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