If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
