After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
