I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
