Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
i think im in europe. pls send help
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
