Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize