she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Randomize
