it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Terrible idea I love it
Randomize
