dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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