Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize
