their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
