After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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