I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
