Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Randomize
