the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
