if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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