so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Randomize
