you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
