dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize