I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize