He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
