I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Randomize
