For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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