Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
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