So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
