Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
