his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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