so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
