What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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