I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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