i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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