she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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