I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Randomize
