Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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