it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize