I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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