NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
