Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Randomize
