every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize