Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
