Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
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