i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
