how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
should my penis look like a turkey
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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