dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Randomize
