So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
