i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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