But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
