So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
