So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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