the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
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