Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize