Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
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