omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Randomize
