i jhust puked up my retainher.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
