he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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