just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
