yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
