Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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