Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
